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Playing Golf with Grace
Bob Ryan, About Purpose, Inc. ©2005
Oh, no, not another one of those “golf reflects life” stories! Yes, I’m afraid so; but only because you know me. I look at every experience in life to see if there is a business insight we can learn from. And so it was this week when I played golf with two men – one, an old friend named Tim, and the other, someone with whom we were paired up.
Now I’m not going to give you a hole-by-hole description, but let me just set the stage. Tim and our playing partner (whom I’ll call PP) are pretty good golfers. They both tend to play a bit better than bogey golf – which means that most of the time they score only one stroke more than the hole is rated. They drive the ball fairly well off the tee – usually accurately and about 280 yards long. Me? Well, let’s just say that when I get a bogey I jump up and down in celebration. As for driving, I can’t get that far in a golf cart
This is where the lessons comes in. I watched and compared these two men as we played, and couldn’t help drawing some lessons for business that I believe can help everyone.
Strive for an even keel. Tim was always calm and controlled, while PP would exhibit emotional outbursts of anger or disgust with himself. Sure, Tim made some bad shots, but he took an emotional outlook that evidenced a consistent, internal peace throughout the game. The result? He was always approachable, while I sometimes felt awkward even talking to PP – unsure of how his mood might affect our interaction.
Never take yourself too seriously. Tim played hard, striving for his best, but he never lost sight of who he is. He’s an amateur; his self-worth is not dependent on the numbers on his scorecard; and he wants to have fun. PP often uttered “I shoulda’s” and bemoaned the fact that he used to be able to do better. Halfway through the game, PP shared that he just had his second heart attack last week – at 57 years old! Is there a lesson there?
Dispense grace whenever you can. Both players were very good about saying positive things about others’ shots. They both looked for the positive and accentuated it. (Guess which one of us was on the receiving end of most of those graceful comments?) Neither was in any way phony, but rather purposely pointed out the good points they saw. Although I got soundly thrashed, score-wise, I genuinely enjoyed playing with them and was able to take delight in some of the good shots I made.
See every opportunity as a chance to grow. Again, my hat’s off to both players here. After a poor shot, or an unlucky bounce, Tim and PP would see a chance to work on their “saves,” and often pulled a good score out of a very bad shot. They recognized that the game is played over the long haul and an individual mistake is nothing more than a step in their development. They always saw the next tee as a fresh start, “shaking it off,” as the saying goes.
Maybe you don’t play golf, but you can look at how you treat yourself and those around you in the game of life. Step back and take a look at yourself the way others see you. How do you come across? What attitude and values do you project? What are your employees and associates learning from the way you conduct yourself? Do they walk away after an encounter with you, as I do with Tim, saying, “What a pleasant, uplifting experience!? I will look for opportunities to be with him again.”