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Goal Setting

Bob Ryan, About Purpose, Inc. ©2001

 

Too often, when we decide to set goals – a laudable task – we start at the end instead of at the beginning. It is my goal in this article to get you to put some serious thinking into what your core goals are. The goals upon which all your other goal setting will stem from.

 

There are many discussions about the difference between goals, objectives, strategies, plans, etc. What I’m talking about are those things that drive our thoughts and actions. I’m talking about goals as the big picture view. I’m talking about what makes you want to get out of bed in the morning, every morning, regardless of how yesterday went or how today looks. I’m talking about setting goals that align with your passion, your purpose, with the meaning of your life. All the other goal setting you do, all the objectives you have, all the strategic and tactical planning you do – whether in your business or personal lives – all the rest of it depends on this most basic of all goal setting.

 

I remember a song from a recently re-released movie that went:

 

“What’s it all about, Alfie? Is it just for the moment we live?

What’s it all about, when we work it out, Alfie?

Are we meant to take more than we give?”

 

We are on a constant search for significance or meaning for our existence. We are driven by something much deeper than basic needs. Abraham Maslow conceived of the Hierarchy of Needs. Reading from the bottom up, Maslow says that we are driven first and foremost by our need for survival. Once that is assured, we seek security. Once we feel secure, we reach out in social contact to others. There we find a new need, that of improving our status among others. When and only when we have achieved some satisfactory level of status, we strive to “become all that we can be,” to paraphrase the Army. Maslow says these needs-based drives are hierarchical, that is, that each lower need must be fulfilled before we seek the next level. Further, if we are working on a higher level and a lower level is threatened, we will abandon that drive and go downwards in the hierarchy to assure the lower level.

 

Self-Actualization

Status

Social Status

Security

Survival

 

We do what we do because we must satisfy our needs. But this is a circular trap. Because our needs will never be met. We just constantly redefine them. How many of you define security the same now as you did 20 years ago? And, needs are completely subjective. How many of you are ready to trade with the drugged-out street kids in a third world country their definition of survival for your own?

 

No, both logically and intuitively, there’s something else besides our needs that slip into the equation of how and why we do what we do. Enter values, ethics, morals, virtue, beliefs, or whatever you may want to call it. The fact is, that there is something that transcends our needs and guides our behavior. And that something is our values.

 

We know this is true. Otherwise, no one would ever think twice about doing anything at all to get his or her needs met. People would never be willing to sacrifice their security or their belonging or their status for the good of others. We would be all be satisfied with reaching the apex of the needs hierarchy – self-actualization. But we aren’t. We always seek more.

 

The kind of goal setting I’m talking about here is the kind that gets at what is so important in our lives that we stretch beyond our needs. To some extent, it’s the difference between Doing the Right Things and Doing Things Right. Oh, don’t get me wrong. Both are important. I’m a management and organizational development consultant. Most of my income comes from helping people do things right. But the most important part of my work is doing the right things.

 

So, how do you get into this process of goal setting that I’m describing?  Here are five steps that I believe will help you get at those core values that truly guide your lives, and then to set goals that will be aligned with those values.

 

  1. Turn Aside The very first thing that has to happen is for you to turn away from the busyness of the daily grind and shift your attention to loftier things. One of things I’m fond of saying to my clients is that most of us are too busy working IN the business to work ON the business. We’re caught up in daily activities, putting out fires, managing crises, etc. In our personal lives, that looks different for each one of us. Families are busier than ever – parents running a perpetual taxi service; students trying to juggle classes, studies, sports and jobs; two career parents working to maintain some semblance of family while dealing with the stresses and strains of jobs, finances, raising kids, being responsible citizens, etc. In single parent families, multiply by three! Somehow, in someway, we need to turn aside. It doesn’t have to be a weekend retreat (although that would be nice). Even an uninterrupted hour would be beyond what most people do. Better yet, set aside some small block of time every day. Perhaps, get up a little before the family, or go to bed a little later than your spouse. Or if you have the luxury of an office door, take your lunch hour with instructions not to be interrupted. But it’s clear that you can’t ponder the important aspects of your life if you don’t take some time for it.

 

  1. Ask questions Plato said that the teaching of virtue is the asking of questions. That is, we can only really get to our core beliefs by asking questions. Ask the tough questions. Who am I? Why am I here? Will the world be any different as a result of my being in it? If so, for better or for worse? What would people say of me after they get back in their cars after my funeral? What is my driving passion? What is the most important thing in the entire world for me? That for which I would give up my life? The second most important? Does my life and its activities reflect that importance? Could anybody tell that those things really are that important to me by watching my behavior?

 

  1. Stop and Listen That last step was ask questions, not answer. Let those questions roll around a bit. Don’t try to answer them right off. Don’t be in a big hurry to put words to the feelings that you will find coming over you. Let them touch you and affect you. If the questions leave you with a sense of “I have no idea,” then start researching them. There are a lot of places you can look for the answers to those questions. You can look to the great philosophers. You can look to respected leaders, both living and dead. You can look to those around you whom you most respect and admire. (As a Christian, I have a bias here. My experience has taught me that the only place to find answers that truly satisfy – is in God, as represented in the Bible. But even if that’s not your belief, don’t ignore the spiritual aspect of your being. Stop and listen to it. Look into the spiritual writings that most closely match your faith.  Where do you think some of the great business writers of our time get their material? Kenneth Blanchard, Stephen Covey, Zig Ziglar, Norman Vincent Peale, and hundreds of others.)

 

  1. Speak it Most people skip this next step. But it is a vital one. As answers begin to form in your mind. Speak them, write them, and share them with someone you trust. Only by bringing them to the light of reality do they have any chance of breaking out of the realm of mere thoughts and turning into concepts that you can get your arms around and own. Talk about your emerging beliefs. The very process of holding them up and examining them will help them develop and take shape. This step is an iterative one, that is, it needs to be revisited and performed often, with different people.

 

Set Goals Finally, we get to the action step. As you begin to understand what you are about, who you are and what is truly important in life, you are ready to start goal setting. For each of us, goals will sound different, but for all of us they will take a form something like this:

 

If I truly believe (fill in the blank), then my actions need to be (fill in the blank).

 

Is your love of family the driving force in your life? Then what ought that to look like in your behavior?

Is your spiritual walk the driving force in your life? How ought that to play out in your daily life?

Is the creation of a legacy the driving force in your life? How does that align with your actions?

 

I urge you to go through the steps of Goal Setting:

 

  1. Turn Aside from the daily confusion of life
  2. Ask the Tough Questions
  3. Listen for the answers and seek them out
  4. Speak the Answers and let them take a definite shape
  5. Set your Goals and make your plans based first on those goals.

 

Socrates said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” If you have not settled with yourself what your overriding goals are, I submit that you are living a sham. You are simply coasting. Without goals, your personal life will have no lasting meaning, your business will be in constant peril, and your social relationships will never deepen. Your life will be “needs-driven” and therefore you will never achieve satisfaction.

 

I wouldn’t wish this on anyone, normally, but I hope you come away from this article with that tune nagging at you, “What’s it all about, Alfie?”